I was going to request that I would be killed off incase I was unable to face myself and transform in to a monster.

[She moved a hand to the back of her neck, moving some of that hair out of the way as she turned her head to reveal a tattoo of a snake attached to another through the body.]

It is something every Blue Mage has to go through, but I was informed that I would remain as a monster even after being brought back.